Today, the counterrevolution begins! MSNBC's Mika Brzezinski refused to talk about Paris Hilton's release from jail - instead shredding, tearing to bits and attempting to set on fire copies of the story.

"No, I hate this story and I don't think it should be our lead ... My producer Andy Jones is not listening to me. He's put it as the lead," she said as she took a fellow anchor's cigarette lighter and tried to burn the script.

In related nooze (albeit fake), NBC's Jeff Zucker is rumored to be courting Jon Stewart as the replacement to Jay Leno. Since NBC is already contractually obligated to Conan O'Brien for the Tonight Show, the buyout alone would cost approximately $40m. The Stewart rumor has thrown all late night slots into play with FOX and ABC entering the fray. If I had to guess, I'd say Conan takes the Tonight Show, Stewart takes late night on NBC, and Colbert moves to the Daily Show slot on Comedy Central.