Attorneys who represent detainees at Guantanamo Bay were recently accused of providing two men with illicit underwear and Speedo brand swim trunks. These lawyers do incredibly difficult work under purposefully impossible circumstances, and being falsely accused of violating the onerous security requirements is probably par for the course. However, these accusations take the cake. Check out the letter from the JAGC, below the fold, and the attorney's appropriately hilarious response.
August 12, 2007
Re: Discovery of Contraband Clothing in the Cases of Shaker Aamer, Detainee ISN 239, and Muhammed Hamid al-Qareni, Detainee ISN 269
Dear Mr. Stafford Smith.
Your client, Shaker Aamer, detainee ISN 239, was recently discovered to be wearing Under Armor briefs and a Speedo bathing suit. Neither item was issued to the detainee by JTF-Guantanamo personnel, nor did they enter the camp through regular mail. Coincidentally, Muhammed al-Qareni, detainee ISN 269, who is represented by Mr. Katznelson of Reprieve, was also recently discovered to be wearing Under Armor briefs. As with detainee ISN 239, the briefs were not issued by JTF-Guantanamo personnel, nor did they enter the camp through regular mail.
We are investigating this matter to determine the origins of the above contraband and ensure that parties who may have been involved understand the seriousness of this transgression. As I am sure you understand, we cannot tolerate contraband being surreptitiously brought into the camp. Such activities threaten the safety of the JTF-Guantanamo staff, the detainees, and visiting counsel.
In furtherance of our investigation, we would like to know whether the contraband material, or any portion thereof, was provided by you, or anyone else on your legal team, or anyone associated with Reprieve. We are compelled to ask these questions in light of the coincidence that two detainees represented by counsel associated with Reprieve were found wearing the same contraband underwear.
Thank you as always for your cooperation and assistance,
Sincerely,
[Name redacted]
Commander, JAGC, US Navy
Staff Judge Advocate
5 Responses to “Underwear Smuggling at Gitmo”
Good Grief..Paula, when I woke up this am, I would never have thought I'd end the day with so much information on how completely stupid and clueless the JAGC could be (although not beyond the pale of reason) But rather I am filled with an incredible amount of info on army undies.
Ever more I feel like I've fallen down a rabbit hole.
Priceless.
Just had a thought.. what would happen if we all placed orders on Amazon for this underwear and had it shipped to US Post Office at GITMO? Do you suppose if they got a couple thousand pair, they would share? Doubtful they would get to the detainees, but.. who knows..
Great idea, but kinda pricey. Looks like they are 20 bucks a pop...
I love the part about the Speedos, but really felt that there was a missing waterboard joke in there somewhere.