Did you know that there are other state wide elected positions in Georgia?
Well there are!
Lt. Governor:
This position is apparently bad for your back, but Casey wants to stay
in it anyway. No other Republicans are likely to run. Rumored Dems
include Michael Thurmond, current labor commissioner, and Tim Golden,
longtime State Senator from Southeast Georgia.
Secretary of State:
Mess with elections, license various professions you have never heard
of, decide who gets to host a boxing match, this job is sweet. Karen
Handel is running for Governor because she found out you don’t need a
high school degree for that job either, so it’s an open Lay-Z-Boy. In
the blue corner, Gary Horlacher has announced for the job, and on the
Republican side, Bran Kemp has decided that since he wanted to be Ag
Commissioner so bad and didn’t get it, he is going to go for the
opposite job, because it’s the status that’s important, not your
particular skill set.
Attorney General:
Wait, an Attorney and a General? This job is the best. You are
responsible for keeping people safe, chiefly by holding press
conferences. This person can either be the guy that lets corporations
slide or the one who holds them accountable. On the Dems side you
have Rob Teilhet, state rep and all around awesome, he will get some
votes and Ken Hodges, who Phoebe and Putney will vote for, and on the
Republican side, Sam Olens, Cobb County Commissioner.
State School Superintendent:
Preparing for a massive scandal involving misuse of funds about 6
years into your term? This is the gig for you! All that’s required
is you want people to try real hard. Scott and Westlake are the Dems
and Bad Kathy and her flowbee inspired do are on the Republican side.
Insurance Commissioner
Want regular Georgians to not be screwed by the sleaziest corporations
of them all? Try being Insurance Commissioner! You might find it’s
easier to join them than to fight them, Ox-style. Former State
Senators Mary Squires (D- Kickass) and Seth Harp (R- Midland?) are the
latest to take up the fight, some more gallantly than others.
Agricultural Commissioner:
If you can actually make plants grow just by lookin’ at ’em, this job
is for you. Also if you want to screw family farmers and get them
swept up into large corporate farms like Russia but with less
appealing fonts, mottos, and logos, well this could be the job for
you. Ever looked at the contract between Perdue and a chicken farmer?
It is downright nasty.
Tommy Irvin running? Who knows, but Black and Wilkinson are the ones
with red hats this time round.
Labor Commissioner
If you have any idea how this one is going to shake out please enlighten us in the comments.
Update: Gary Horlacher’s site is now linked, and according to the comments Darryl Hicks, Gail Buckner, and Vernon Jones are running as well. I couldn’t find websites for any of them. Well I did for Vernon Jones but it was NSFW.
Update 2: Rob Teilhet’s site now correct. Thanks be to Melanie.
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