Here's how it went today.
Ding dong (door bell).
Me: Hello.
Jehovah's Witness #1: Hello. We'd like to share with you the wonderful blah blah, blah blah blah...blah, Jesus Christ.
Me: Um, that's great. Are you ladies planning to vote in the December 1st runoff election?
Jehovah's Witness #2: We don't vote.
Me: What do you mean you don't vote? Like, as a matter of religion or something?
Jehovah's Witness #1: We already voted.
Me: Yes, but you know there's a runoff for a number of races in Fulton County on December 1st.
Jehovah's Witness #2: We voted for Jesus Christ. He is our lord and savior.
Me (thinking): Did they write him in?
Jehovah's Witness #1: We don't vote in earthly elections.
Me: OK, well I can tell you right now this denomination would not work for me.
Jehovah's Witness #2: May we leave you our brochure anyway?
Me: Sure.
Comments (11)
HAHAHA...Mel, you crack me up.
Love it.
It was actually a little worse. When she said "We don't vote in EARTHLY elections", I thought she said "We don't vote in EARLY elections". So I tried to convince her that voting on election day would be easy and quick.
Ah, but they'd need to be actually registered for that, right? That's when I'd whip out my handy dandy voter registration sheets. But it's against their beliefs. As are celebrating Birthdays, etc. But mostly, it's easier to just avoid them. Saves time for everyone. JMP
::chuckle::
-"We voted for Jesus Christ."
- 'Are you sure your vote was counted?"
That is hilarious.
The Saturday after the miserable election in 2004, my doorbell rang at exactly 8am. I was so looking forward to sleeping in after working pretty hard trying to get Mr. I Won't Give Up Without A Fight...But Not Really elected.
I ignored it. The bell rang again. I threw on clothes and opened the door trying to hold back my ferocious guard dog - the mini dachshund Rusty.
There stands an older gentleman and a few steps behind him his wife. She is looking down at the pavement. Now I know I look a mess with my disheveled hair and wrinkled clothes but to be fair they did wake me up. I finally am able to focus so I look at the man. Without so much as a hello, he yelled at me – yes yelled at me – “DO YOU WANT TO GO TO HELL?!?!” I’m so stunned I simply crooked my head and said “huh?” He yelled at me again “DO YOU WANT TO GO TO HELL!?”
I know my mouth was wide open and I can’t believe I actually had the clarity of thought to say it, but I said “If it gets me away from idiots like you then yes I do!” and slammed the door in their faces.
My door has frosted glass and I could still see them standing there after a few seconds. Rusty was also still barking his head off and if you’ve ever heard a dachshund’s bark it is pretty deceiving. They sound like pretty big dogs because of their little barrel chests. I yanked the door back open and said “You also have 10 seconds to get off my property before I release the hound!”
I immediately ordered a sticker that has two people holding a bible and smiling with a big red circle and slash through it and put it right above my doorbell.
*******
They voted for Jesus Christ? That liberal hippy. He'll never get elected to anything in this state.
What a funny post Mel!
the enemy of liberals is the United States of America. i'll give my fellow red blooded, gun loving, and God fearing America citizens aid and comfort. you and your pussified friends can move to China where questions will leave you dead in a rice field.
Who are you and what have you done with IRE?
Thanks for making me laugh our loud...and I love Rubyduby's point about JC. He was the ultimate bleeding-heart liberal.
Ummmmmm ire?
You got a vote in the Atlanta election.
Yep, I get to plug Rev. Ray's long time site once again:
http://www.liberalslikechrist.org/
He had one of the earliest such sites I've eve seen on the net, but there's plenty others too! Here's another: http://www.jesusisaliberal.org/
JMP