Just in time for Snark Thursday, Newt Gingrich’s spokesman released, quite possibly, the greatest statement ever.

“The literati sent out their minions to do their bidding. Washington cannot tolerate threats from outsiders who might disrupt their comfortable world. The firefight started when the cowardly sensed weakness. They fired timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to be dropped from the establishment’s cocktail party invite list unloaded their entire clip, firing without taking aim their distortions and falsehoods. Now they are left exposed by their bylines and handles. But surely they had killed him off. This is the way it always worked. A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won’t be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces.”

Wait. Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich is a political outsider?

And in other news…

Did fat-cat bankers and investors  learn nothing from the mortgage derivative madness?  Apparently not, because now some are delving into death derivatives.

Perhaps Wall Street has simply resigned itself to not caring what the public thinks. It is working to develop a new product sure to anger its critics: death derivatives. They sound just like what they are: investors would essentially bet that people will die sooner than later. This idea certainly sounds morbid at best and morally repugnant at worst. Essentially, those investors would profit from untimely death. Is it wrong for banks to create such products?

Let’s hope they all get Raptured. (yeah, probably not, methinks…)

Edited by Catherine 2:30 PM 5/19/11


10 Responses to Snark Thursday

  1. Dave Bearse says:

    That Gingrich quote is too wordy for a sound bite world.

    Gingrinch’s “So let me say on the record, any ad which quotes what I said on Sunday is a falsehood” is more to the point.


    And to think, I thought Cain would be head and shoulders above the pack with respect to wacky statements.

  2. JMPrince says:

    On to Fri/Sat snark: via Z @ Think Progress & WSB-TV, Ch2:

    “Delta Gave Georgia GOP Lawmakers Platinum Upgrades, Then Received $30 Million Tax Break”

    H/T also to GaPolitico.

  3. JMPrince says:

    Continuing on the discussion on ‘whither College, Ed’, Jared Bernstein has a new Econ Blog, and is now with the CBPP.org

    He has a few thoughts on the topic. Short take: There’s nothing like full employment to make almost everything right or better.

    And death derivatives, see Viaticals. JMP

  4. JMPrince says:

    Nader’s a doddering deeply confused old man who’s never quite been anyone’s ‘team player’ in politics. I say he should nominate John Huntsman for a vacant appeals court seat. At the very least it might keep him busy for a year while they ‘soft filibuster’ him. JMP

  5. EGaluszka says:

    I just want to share my brilliant idea.

    Republicans are refusing to confirm Elizabeth Warren for head of the consumer protection agency, and a bunch of liberals are calling on Obama to recess appoint her. I think he should leverage the recess appoint, and tell Republicans if they don’t confirm her, he’s going to recess appoint Ralph Nader. Let’s see them swallow that one.

  6. Juliana Illari says:

    Thanks for pitching in with Snark Thursday.. I was off the grid till just now..

    Great stories!

    Oy vey Newt.. he was an ass when I met with him in 1998, still an ass now.

  7. JMPrince says:

    And in addition to Newt we should be worried about the coming Zombie Apocalypse too:

    As heard on NPR this morn. JMP

  8. JMPrince says:

    That’s an awful lot of mock combat from someone who’s never seen much. Still hypocrisy knows no bounds. Our Senators who previously said judicial filibusters were unconstitutional? Changed their minds (again!) today to filibuster Goodwin Liu:
    Quislings for & against the Constitution, when it suits the need. JMP