crane-style-now-reviewHoney, I got a little bad news for you.

Just between us girlfriends, I know, I know you were thinking why am I even answering questions about Adam and Steve getting married. Didn’t I work my manicure to the bone outlawing that crap in 2004. I’ll just give a quickie quote to that GOPlovingoldBrumbynewspapertheMDJlocatedsmackinthemiddleofGOPlandia and be done with it.

Sue, honey there are no local papers . Hadn’t you heard that Al Gore invented the internet and it’s reach is as wide as some of the Cobb Delegations posteriors? Someone even posted your phone number on the internet!

I want to help, so did a little research on couple things you could do today if you are feeling up to it.

I contacted New York City Gay Blogger Joe.My.God, he says that his traffic was a little off yesterday so just 300,000 people saw his blog post about you. Last I checked only 174 people had left comments. You’re going to want to skip over the hateful ones about your hair. Those bitter kittens have nothing better to do than forward that link to all their friends.

Now, hun that Jimmy Kimmel sketch is going to be a bit harder to quantify since we don’t know if his audience of 2.2 million people watched it last night, or on FaceBook or You Tube.  Same for the folks at CBS Atlanta.

Here’s the thing, I’m sure you’ve got oodles of monogramed stationary around the house, surely you could dash off notes to them explaining that you didn’t really mean to sound like a hateful bigoted stereotype from the ladies auxilary of the GOP. Except based on some of those 160 comments at the MDJ, perhaps not all of them are your friends any more.

It sure wasn’t nice of your close personal friend Jamie Ensley to call your comment  “nuttier than a pecan-pistachio-peanut butter sandwich”.  I think you should call his mama, and what does he know anyway. On the flip side, wasn’t it sweet of Georgia Stonewall Democrats President Tim Cairl to remind us that Adam Sandler did make a movie about your idea, so perhaps you’ll get a nice writers credit in the next  straight to Netflix release of  Chuck and Larry. 

Oh sweetie, now that I look at all those numbers, I’m not sure you do have enough note paper. In fact there might not be enough note paper at all the DAR, DOC, and Junior League offices and members in the entire the state! I’ll call Crane this afternoon and order you some  more.

Well damn, I guess I don’t have any good ideas for you.

Bless your heart (eye roll)

Your friend,

Juliana

 

Does it strike anyone else as odd that she doubled down on a economic reason and not a biblical one?

Girl is in the reddest of the red bible thumping places and she went with “the gays might get something free from the government” Not only is it almost impossible, but it’s just plain dumb to think so. I mean isn’t she helping Karl Rove to drown it in the bathtub?

So the bible ain’t working, and apparently even the freedom loving amuricans can see the equality argument is working, so the only talking point she was given was “economic”.

Bitch please, I’m calling this a win for the movement.

 

4 Responses to Dear Sue Everhart,

  1. Drew says:

    Everyone knows that gay marriage is a scam perpetrated by straight people to acquire government health care benefits. Right?

    And homosexuality in general is simply an excuse to avoid one’s heterosexual duties, which as many on the right will tell you, no one would perform absent the threat of eternity in the lake of fire.

  2. JMPrince says:

    “If as a requirement or natural expectation of membership in a political organization you are required, strongly suggested or encouraged to hate, denigrate, degrade and deny the human rights of an entire class of Other people, just for these Others daring to exist amongst you? Then ipso facto your political enterprise is engaging in the practice, thoughts and habits of manifest evil of the most corrupting and vilest sort. The innermost circle of the hottest hell imaginable is too good to contain such thoroughgoing wrongful wickedness”.

    The shorter Dixie version: ‘OK so why do I need to be hating on them?’

    The Prince 1st Corollary of Politics for the New Ages. Thanks, JMP

  3. nicolette says:

    loving the use of “bitter kittens”

  4. Tim says:

    Ain’t nobody got time for that. We got weddins to plan