Palin urges 'full-court press' on socialists

"As Obama gets the ball on the fast break and rears his head, coming into the air space past the free throw line, where does the ball go? Into the basket, just right over the rim," Palin said at a news conference held at the half-court line of the Wasilla sports complex.

"I'm just sayin' its kinda up to us to jam the ball back into his communist face, more or less. Also."

Palin contended that "patriotic" basketball players capable of stopping Obama's scoring spree could be found in all corners of the country.

"We believe that the best hoopsters are not all in Washington, D.C.," she declared. "We believe that the best backboard erasers, the best three-point-shooters, are found in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard-working, very white, um, very, um, high-scoring areas of this great nation."

"It's time that we properly execute the pick-and-roll, freeing up our post player for an easy layup against the crumbling forces of Marxist-socialist zone defenses," Palin said. "Let's double-down on these guys who pal around with terrorists and hold them to single digits. I can see victory from my house."

As the news conference ended, Palin turned and winked at her husband, Todd, and commented, "he knows how to dish the rock in the paint, if you understand what I'm sayin'. Also."